A few thoughts on Forgiveness

Relections on "The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant: Matthew 18:21-35

My notes for a teaching at a local men's group.

Some questions we may want to ask ourselves about “Forgiveness” or just some
 thoughts for further Reflection! 

At HOME…Alone!.

1.    Have you  had good or bad experiences with forgiveness?

2.    Are you in the habit of forgiving people for ways in which they  have hurt you?

3.    Have others forgiven you for the ways you have hurt them?

4.    Do you recall any particular experiences of receiving God’s forgiveness?

5.    Who are the people in your life that you need to forgive?

6.    How do you see the effects of unforgiveness in your life?

7.    What are you fears about forgiving certain people?

8.    Do we have a list in our minds of people who have wronged us, mistreated us, hurt us or mistreated us? 

9.    Sometimes there is no “list”, but a undercurrent or “bitterness” in our lives…like a low grade fever, 100 degrees, not 103. Just an uneasy feeling that can poison our relationships….that eventually can erupt into some terrible actions….”As we think in our heart…so are we.”

10. Sometimes we are like a frog in the water…increasing the temp…and we don’t know what’s happening…we know what happened to the frog!

11.On our way to church…spouse, kids in car…

12.Matt: 18 is all about relationships…among brothers…and how to deal with sin. 

13.Then Peter asks How many times to forgive? 

14.Especially about his “brother”  Present relationship.

15.All about relationships.

16.All about communication

17.All about forgiveness.

18.Then JOY, Circles.

19.Eisenhower and his method. Crumpled paper in wastebasket.

20.He then forgot, but did he.

21.We can do the same.

22.How big is our wastebasket?

23.Are we really forgiving, or just forgetting for the moment…and the wastebasket get fuller and fuller. …Then we can get a paper shredder…smaller pieces…over a lifetime….what is happening?

24.Our families, churches.

25.Forgiveness. Seven times or seventy x seven….It’s really unlimited forgiveness.

26.We are to overflow with forgiveness.

27.The reason I forgive is because of the Lord’s forgiving me, not because of the person who hurt me!

28.It is impossible to receive forgiveness from God and NOT give it to another. 

29.An unforgiving spirit. Do we have one and maybe don’t even know it?

30.S.I McMillen in his book None of These Diseases, says,
"The moment I start hating a man I become his slave. He even controls my thoughts, I can’t escape his tyrannical grasp on my minds. When the waiter serves me steak it might as well be stale bread and water. The man I hate will not permit me to enjoy it.” Obviously as Christian men, we don’t or won’t admit that we hate someone.  What is hate?

31.Dislike or….?

32.Some bottom line thoughts.

33.The source of forgiveness is Gods forgiveness.

34.Until we see ourselves as truly and deeply sinful, we will see nothing else clearly.   Wow!

35.The refusal to forgive is costly. 

36.What did your sin do to God?

37.Think about it!

38.Not a once and for all event. 

39.Need to forgive daily. 

40.The secret of forgiveness is grace.

41.Grace received means grace given.

42.“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Eph 4:32

43.Forgiveness is the great evidence that we have become new creatures in Christ and that the Spirit of Christ lives within us. 

44.The cross is where we receive forgiveness and where we learn to forgive. 

45.Who do we need to bring to the cross,? Spouse, parent, child, friend, neighbor, pastor, one of the men here?

 

More on Forgiveness

   Spiritual Laws & Forgiveness 

You can see my posts on TWITTER 

The Key to Joy: It's all about "Relationships", "Communication" and "Forgiveness"!....

As my good friend Ron says, "It's all about relationships".

 With "social media"...it's about "friends", "connections" and "followers".

If you can't wait to get to the end of this post...It's all about Forgiveness!


Over the course of time, I have added, "Yes, and it's all about Communication."
Communication, Communication, Communication.

All about Relationships: Yes, with Jesus through God our Father...and then relationship with each other.

To develop any relationship, we need to listen and to communicate.

So it's all about Communication, Communication Communication.

With God, we communicate through Prayer.

With each other, we communicate in many ways.

But in any relationship...even with the best of Relationship and Communication, we mess up. It's called sin.

With God we can repent and ask for forgiveness.

So to complete the circle...I have added yes, and it's all about Forgiveness.
Forgiveness, Forgiveness, Forgiveness.

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you." -Corrie ten Boom



Just as we can have a relationship with God, through Jesus Christ and with each other...We can communicate our love  and needs to Him and also to other...but in the process we have a tendency to mess up. But again, we can ask God for forgiveness...and as He has made His forgiveness available to us, we then also need to forgive each other.


Alot of times...when there is a lack of joy in our lives and we have forgiven others and ourselves...we might forget to forgive our parents for real or imaginary hurts. Perception is real. 



"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and clearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the LORD forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."  Romans 3:12-14

As Eugene H. Peterson says in The Message: Matthew 6: "In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part." 

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you." -Corrie ten Boom

  So how can we NOT forgive others?

As we truly experience God's forgiveness and grace, it's then pretty easy to forgive others! Or at least it should be!

So, do we have joy?




If not, might be a good time to examine our relationships with others...our spouse, family members and maybe more important to examine our relationships with our parents...if we still have living parents. 

I also remember a verse from the Bible in Exodus 20:12  "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you."


So don't forget to forgive parents, even if they are long gone! Time is short, eternity is long.  

As Don Wilkerson says, "Never be defined by your past. It's a lesson not a life sentence.”

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you." -Corrie ten Boom

 "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity." Psalm 133:1
As Dietrich Bonhoeffer In Life Together says, "this is the Scriptures' praise of life together under the Word. But now we can rightly interpret the words "in unity" and say, "for brethren to dwell together through Christ."  For Jesus Christ alone is our unity. "He is our peace.
Through him alone do we have access to one another, joy in one another, and fellowship with one another."

A parent's greatest joy is found in this verse: "I have no greater joy than to hear that  my children are walking in the truth." 3 John:4

When we do that...we can truly have JOY! 

 

Maybe not as easy as it sounds!

 

There IS help available!

 

 

Check out this book;

Solutions: Relational healing for the next generation

by Cathy Morrill with Wendy Coy and the cross/fire team.

For young people, but any age can benefit! 

 It's a PDF of the complete book!  

Check out the Table of Contents...but here are a few key truths about life!

See P. 87: Not the Brady Bunch...Every family has a story.

See P. 98: Forgiveness..."Forgiveness heals. It removes bitterness and sin from our hearts, and gives Jesus more room..."

 See p.122: Mom, Dad & Me. "Our heavenly Fther really cares. he has not left us to work out our relationships on our own. Family is His idea and He has the power to bring change."

As a first step in relational healing, I highly recommend this book!

 

It was part of a ministry called "The River" many years ago.

 

Cathy's blog! 

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Another good resource is Celebrate Recovery, with chapters all around the country.

 

A very good program for Believers also! 

 

Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered program with foundations firmly established in Biblical truth. The 12 Steps with accompanying Scriptures and the 8 Principles based on the Beatitudes offer participants a clear path of salvation and discipleship; bringing hope, freedom, sobriety, healing, and the opportunity to give back one day at a time through our one and only true Higher Power, Jesus Christ.  The 12 Steps and the 8 Principles work seamlessly together, tying historical recovery to timeless Biblical teaching.

 

  Celebrate Recovery Ministry & Principles

Sometimes the hurt, grief or trauma is so great that you may need help.
Different Christian denominations may have their own resources, but a good national Christian Ministry, Stephen Ministry is available in most metro areas of the U.S. A short video  A one on one weekly meeting with a trained counseler that can last as long as one year.

Living Waters is another ministry which helps with Anger, Unforgiveness and many other issues. A 20 week program. 

With all the relationships we have..."Friends", "Connections", "Followers"...Best to start with God. 

 

So, there are many resources available, but you need to take the first step...that is after the Holy Spirit nudges you!  

 

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover the prisoner was you." -Corrie ten Boom

 

As Don Wilkerson says, "Never be defined by your past. It's a lesson not a life sentence.”

 

    

 

My early childhood life

 

 

Finding true peace with God 

 Further thoughts on Forgiveness

 

 More thought on Forgiveness on my Twitter