Encouraging & challenging people to be "rooted", "grounded" and "grow" and so bloom" where they are "planted" in their neighborhood, world and career...using their Passion"," Abilities"," Gifts", "Strengths" and prior "Experiences" God has gifted them with and thereby bringing glory and honor to the LORD. 1st Corinthians 10:31
A Story of Faith, Community, Prayer, and God’s Providence
Richard F. Dassow
A Story Preserved Through Storyworth
Several years ago, our children participated in Storyworth. Throughout the year, they emailed questions to me about my childhood, work, marriage, family, faith, and other life experiences. I answered those questions in my own words and often included photographs and personal reflections. At the end of the year, Storyworth gathered my answers into a printed book titled Faith Vision Service—Richard F. Dassow.
That book has become an important record of our family history. It preserves details I might otherwise forget, including how Naomi and I met, the beginning of our marriage, our years with the couples from Divine Shepherd Lutheran Church, and the remarkable way our three children came into our family. The following story draws from that book as well as from memories that have returned to me more recently.
Building Our Marriage and a Christian Community
Naomi and I were married on April 21, 1979, at Divine Shepherd Lutheran Church. During our first year of marriage, we attended two marriage weekend retreats. I no longer remember the names of those retreats, but attending them showed that we wanted to build our marriage on a strong Christian foundation from the beginning.
Naomi soon approached other young couples at Divine Shepherd who had married in 1979, along with several who had married a few years earlier. Those friendships developed into a weekly Bible study and Life Group in our home. At times, ten or more couples participated, and the group continued for approximately fifteen years. We eventually became known as the 79ers.
Naomi and I initially led the study using The Christian Couple and The Christian Family by Larry Christenson. After we completed those books, Pastor Bruce Harrmann led us through various books of the Bible.
The group became part of the foundation of our married life. We studied Scripture together, supported one another, raised our children alongside one another, and prayed together when important decisions and difficulties arose.
Wanting Children
Naomi and I wanted children, but we did not become pregnant during our first year of marriage. We pursued medical answers and attended several infertility groups. One of those groups was called OURS, and Naomi spoke at one of its meetings. Even at that stage of her life, she was willing to talk openly about a difficult experience if her story might encourage someone else.
As we considered what God might have for us, we began exploring adoption. We read widely, attended meetings, talked with many people, and eventually contacted Lutheran Social Services.
We participated in a nine-week study group where we learned about parenting, behavior management, and the needs of adopted children. It was often a discouraging time. We considered several possible placements, but none worked out, and we sometimes wondered whether we would ever become parents.
Two Brothers from Korea
Then Naomi received a telephone call from our social worker. Two biological brothers from Korea were available for adoption. Michael was seven years old, and Peter was four. Without hesitation, we said that we would take them.
We completed the immigration documents and received their photographs. The following day, however, Naomi received another call. Because of an oversight, the social worker had not noticed that we had been married for only two and a half years. Korean law required adoptive parents to have been married for three years. We were told that we could not have the boys.
We were heartbroken because we already felt that Michael and Peter were our children.
At the end of that week, I called the social worker in Minneapolis and asked whether there was still any possibility that we could adopt them. She could not give us a reason for hope, but she told me that she believed in the power of prayer.
That Thursday evening, our Life Group gathered in our home and prayed earnestly for the boys and for us. Many other people in Milwaukee were praying too.
On Monday morning, the social worker called with the news that we would be allowed to adopt Michael and Peter after all. On October 19, we met them at the airport in Minneapolis and welcomed them into our family.
An Unexpected Call About a Baby
Approximately six months after Michael and Peter came into our home, we received another unexpected telephone call. A Christian young woman from northern Wisconsin asked whether we would be interested in adopting a baby.
We told her that we now had two sons and felt satisfied with our family. We were no longer looking for a baby.
She explained that she had seen our photograph and a letter describing our desire to adopt. About a year earlier, we had printed one hundred copies of that letter, intending to distribute them to people who might know a young woman seeking adoptive parents for her child.
After learning more about Wisconsin’s adoption laws at that time, we decided not to distribute the letters. We put ninety-seven copies in a cupboard and forgot about them. We also forgot that three copies had already been given to close friends. Somehow, one of those three letters reached a Christian crisis-pregnancy counseling center.
Wisconsin’s adoption law had since changed. The termination of parental rights could now occur at the same time as the hearing for adoptive placement, so a child would not enter the adoptive home until the birth mother’s rights had been legally terminated. This change allowed us to consider the adoption more carefully.
We also had to think about Michael and Peter. They had been with us for only six months and were still adjusting to a new family and a new country.
Naomi and I prayed and talked at length. Then we took the boys to a nearby park and asked how they would feel about having a baby brother or sister. They responded positively.
Ami came into our family when she was only six days old. Her adoption became the first case in Eau Claire County under Wisconsin’s new law.
Michael and Peter had come first from Korea, and Ami joined us about six months later. Within approximately eight months, Naomi and I went from having no children to becoming the parents of three.
A Family Formed Through Providence
Our Life Group remained an important part of our family’s early years. We shared meals, Bible studies, prayer, and the ordinary experiences of raising children. We also enjoyed camping trips with church families and with individual families, including summer camping trips with the Langenkamps.
Later, Naomi and I tried to attend nearly every school and athletic event in which our children participated.
Looking back, I can see God’s providence throughout those years. He used our desire for children, the disappointment of infertility, Lutheran Social Services, a praying social worker, our Thursday-night Life Group, an exception involving Korean adoption requirements, three forgotten letters, and a timely change in Wisconsin law.
At many points, we could not see how the story would unfold. God could.
The early years of our marriage formed a pattern that continued throughout our forty-five years together. Naomi and I wanted our home, family, abilities, and resources to serve the Lord.
We did not do everything perfectly, and we could not anticipate the path ahead. Yet God faithfully guided us, surrounded us with Christian friends, and gave us three children whom we deeply wanted and loved.
The conclusion I wrote in my Storyworth account still expresses what I believe:
God is good. God has a plan for our lives. God is in control. God has blessed us to be a blessing to others.
A few weeks ago, Bob asked me a question that has stayed with me:
“When you went back to Buckhorn, were you searching for Naomi?”
Even now, when I remember his question or try to say it aloud, tears come
to my eyes. At first, I did not know exactly how to answer. I knew Naomi would
not physically be there. I know she is with the Lord. Yet something within me
was searching for her.
Now I think I understand it more clearly: I was searching especially for
the young Naomi—the Naomi I never knew.
Buckhorn, Kentucky, was part of Naomi’s life before I entered her story.
It was where she served as a young nurse in a rural clinic. It was where her
compassion, courage, faith, and sense of calling were already taking shape.
Long before she became my wife, the mother of our children, and my companion
through 45 years of marriage, Naomi was living a life that I knew only through
the stories she later told me.
When I returned to Buckhorn, perhaps I was trying to enter that earlier
chapter of her life. I wanted to see what she had seen, walk where she had
walked, and understand more fully what had shaped the woman I loved.
I knew Naomi as my wife and closest companion. I knew her as a nurse, a
mother, a servant, and a woman of deep faith. I knew her through our years of
raising our children, serving in ministry, traveling, facing her kidney
disease, and sharing the ordinary experiences of married life.
But I never met the young Naomi of Buckhorn.
What was she like then? What did she think about as she traveled those
roads? What did she see in the people she served? What challenges did she face?
What was God teaching her? What dreams did she carry? How did those experiences
prepare her to become the woman I would eventually meet and marry?
Perhaps part of my heart was asking:
“Naomi, what were you like here? What did you feel? What did God show
you? I wish I could have known you then.”
There is something especially painful about realizing that, even after 45
years of marriage, there were still parts of Naomi’s life that I had not
completely explored. I thought I knew her well—and I did. But no matter how
long we love someone, there are still rooms within that person’s story that we
have never fully entered.
After someone dies, we can no longer ask the questions we wish we had
asked. We cannot sit across the table and say, “Tell me more about who you were
then.” We cannot hear the tone of the voice, watch the face brighten, or allow
one memory to lead naturally to another.
Perhaps that is one reason Bob’s question touched me so deeply. I was not
only grieving the Naomi who died on November 8, 2024. I was also longing to
meet a younger Naomi whom I could now know only through places, photographs,
writings, stories, and the people who may still remember her.
Buckhorn holds part of her story. Because of that, it has become
something of a sacred place for me. Returning there was not simply taking a
trip into the past. It was more like making a pilgrimage into Naomi’s life.
I was not expecting to find her standing there. But perhaps I hoped that,
by walking where she walked, I might feel closer to her. Perhaps the physical
place could help close, for a little while, the painful distance between the
life we once shared and the life I must now live without her beside me.
Was that healthy? I believe it was.
There is a difference between trying to recover a life that cannot return
and intentionally revisiting a place that helps us remember, understand, honor,
and grieve. I was not trying to deny Naomi’s death. I was trying to know her
more fully and preserve the meaning of her life.
In one sense, I was searching for Naomi. But I was also searching for a
part of our shared story. The young woman who served in Buckhorn eventually
became the woman I married. Everything God was doing in her life before she met
me became part of the person with whom I would share 45 years.
By searching for the young Naomi, I was also trying to understand more
completely the wife I knew and loved.
The tears that come when I think about this do not mean something is
wrong with me. They reveal how deep the bond remains. My mind understands that
Naomi is with the Lord, but my heart still experiences her absence. Grief lives
in that distance between knowing and longing.
My heart still asks: How do I remain close to you when I can no
longer see you, hear your voice, ask you questions, or travel beside you?”
I also wonder whether I was looking for reassurance that Naomi was real,
that our marriage was real, and that the life we shared still matters.
Forty-five years together was a lifetime, but it was still not enough. I would
have welcomed more years, more conversations, more memories, and more
opportunities to know her.
I do not want to leave Naomi behind as I move forward. But perhaps moving
forward does not require leaving her behind. It means learning to carry my love
for her differently.
I can no longer carry that love through her physical presence. I now
carry it through memory, gratitude, faith, the stories I preserve, the places I
revisit, and the ways her life continues to shape my own. I can honor the Naomi
I knew while continuing to discover the young Naomi whose earlier life helped
prepare her for the years we would share.
My Reason for Hope
My story does not end with searching, tears, and separation. I have hope
because Jesus Christ is real. Naomi trusted Jesus, loved Him, and lived her
life for His glory. I believe that when she took her final breath on earth, she
immediately entered the conscious presence of the Lord.
As Paul wrote:
“To be absent from the body” is “to be present with the Lord.”
—2 Corinthians 5:8
Jesus told His disciples:
“I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will
live, even though they die.”
—John 11:25
Naomi is not lost. She is not merely part of my past. She is alive in the
presence of Jesus.
In my blog post, One Minute After You Die, I reflected on what
Scripture teaches and what Christian writers such as Erwin Lutzer and Randy
Alcorn believe about the present Heaven.
I believe Naomi is fully conscious, completely at peace, and free from
the pain and physical limitations she experienced on earth. Her years of
dialysis, weakness, medical appointments, and suffering are over. She is
experiencing joy, worship, fellowship, and the presence of Christ.
Her first experience after leaving this life may have been coming face to
face with Jesus—the Savior she loved and served. I can only imagine the awe,
peace, and joy she experienced when her faith became sight.
Some details remain mysteries. Scripture does not tell us everything we
might wish to know about the present Heaven. I cannot say with certainty how
much Naomi knows about what is happening on earth or exactly what her daily
experience is like. But I believe what Scripture clearly teaches: she is with
Christ, she remains the person God created her to be, and she is safe, joyful,
and fully alive in His presence.
She is awaiting the resurrection of her body and the promised new heaven
and new earth. Her story has not ended. It has entered a new and eternal
chapter.
That gives me hope for my own future.
I am approaching 87. I do not know how many days or years God will still
give me. Only God knows whether our reunion will be soon by our earthly
measurement of time. Until then, I want to remain faithful to whatever purpose
He still has for me. I want to use my time, gifts, experiences, and resources
well. I want to finish well.
But I also live with the confident hope that this separation is
temporary. Because of Jesus Christ, death will not have the final word. Someday
I will see my Savior face to face. And through Christ, I believe I will also be
reunited with Naomi.
Perhaps then I will know the young Naomi in a way I never could on earth.
Perhaps there will be time for the stories I never heard and the questions I
never asked. Perhaps I will finally understand more fully how God was at work
throughout her entire life—before I knew her, during our marriage, and after
she went ahead of me into eternity.
I am not searching for Naomi as someone who has disappeared without hope.
I am remembering someone who has gone ahead of me.
If Bob were to ask me that question again, I think I would answer:
“Yes, in a way, I was searching for Naomi—but especially for the young
Naomi I never knew. I wanted to see where she had lived and served, understand
what shaped her, and somehow meet that earlier version of the woman who later
became my wife. I knew I could not find her physically in Buckhorn, but I hoped
that by walking where she walked, I might know her more fully and feel closer
to her.
“But I am not without hope. Jesus is real, and Naomi is with Him. She is
alive, at peace, free from suffering, and experiencing the presence of the Lord
she loved. I believe our separation is temporary. Until God calls me home, I
want to live faithfully and finish well. Then, because of Jesus, I believe I
will see Naomi again.”
I was searching for the Naomi who existed before there was a “Naomi and
Richard.”
And because Jesus conquered death, I believe that one day I will. And
then the Great Reunion!
Some lives are remembered not only for what they accomplished, but for the spirit in which they were lived.
Naomi Koerwitz Dassow’s life was marked by a quiet but courageous faith in Jesus Christ, a deep compassion for people, and a willingness to go wherever the Lord called her. Her story includes nursing, marriage, family, illness, ministry, grief, service, and hope. Yet the truest thread running through every chapter is this: God was faithfully at work.
Naomi’s life was never about drawing attention to herself. She would want her story to point beyond her—to Jesus Christ, the One who gave her faith, sustained her through suffering, and welcomed her home.
A Calling Shaped by Compassion
Long before Naomi became Naomi Dassow, she was a young nurse with a desire to serve people in need.
Her journey took her from Wisconsin to the hills and hollers of Buckhorn, Kentucky. In a rural Appalachian community where medical care was often difficult to reach, Naomi traveled by Jeep to visit mothers, children, and families living in isolated places. She worked alongside nurse-midwife Lucille LeBeau, whose friendship and example became an important part of Naomi’s story.
Those years in Buckhorn were more than an early nursing assignment. They helped reveal the heart God had placed within her. Nursing was not simply Naomi’s profession. It was one of the ways she loved her neighbor.
She carried that same compassionate spirit into later work in public health, community care, church ministry, missions, and service to people facing hardship. Wherever there was a need, Naomi had a way of seeing the person behind it.
Looking back, it is difficult to see Naomi’s story as a series of accidents or coincidences.
God was preparing her through her family, faith, education, friendships, nursing experiences, places of service, joys, disappointments, and even through the suffering that would later become part of her life. He was also preparing Richard on a very different path.
Naomi and Richard came from different backgrounds, had different personalities and experiences, and traveled separate roads for many years. Yet in God’s timing, their paths crossed in 1978. They were married on April 21, 1979, and God gave them 45 years together.
Their marriage was built on a shared faith in Jesus. It was strengthened through ordinary life, adoption and family, church relationships, hospitality, ministry, travel, challenges, joys, and seasons that neither of them could have anticipated.
Their story is beautifully pictured in When Two Snowflakes Became One. Two snowflakes do not become identical when they join. Each remains uniquely formed, yet together they become part of something larger. In a similar way, Naomi and Richard remained distinct people, but God joined their lives into one shared testimony of faith, love, and service.
Faithfulness Through Suffering
Before Naomi and Richard married, Naomi told him that she had polycystic kidney disease. Neither of them could fully see what the years ahead would hold.
As her illness progressed, dialysis and medical decisions became part of their shared life. Yet they did not see themselves merely as patient and caregiver. They were Care Partners—walking through the burdens, appointments, prayers, decisions, and uncertainties together.
Their marriage was not defined by illness. It was revealed through faithfulness in the midst of illness.
Naomi showed courage, joy, and trust in Christ through difficult seasons. Richard stayed beside her as husband, companion, advocate, and Care Partner. Their life together became a reminder that love is often expressed not only in great words, but in daily presence, patience, prayer, sacrifice, and faithfulness.
Naomi’s influence reached far beyond one place or one ministry.
Her life included nursing, public health, Eastbrook Church, Alliance Bible Church, the Red Cross, The Salvation Army, jail ministry, missions, prayer, encouragement, hospitality, and compassionate care for people in crisis. She understood that every person mattered to God.
She did not need recognition in order to serve. She simply wanted to be useful to the Lord.
Her legacy also lives on through her family, friends, fellow workers, people she encouraged, and those who received practical help or spiritual care because she was willing to say yes to God’s call.
Naomi entered the presence of Jesus on November 8, 2024.
Her physical absence is deeply felt. Grief is not a sign that faith has failed. It is the honest expression of love and loss. Jesus Himself wept.
Yet Christ Followers do not grieve without hope.
Naomi is not merely a memory. She is with Christ—whole, healed, known, and loved by the Savior she trusted. The promise of Jesus remains firm:
“I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die.” —John 11:25
Naomi’s influence continues in the faith, compassion, ministry, generosity, writing, and service that remain part of the life she shared with Richard. Her story is still being told because God’s work through a faithful life does not simply end.
As A Story Still Being Written: Naomi and Me reminds us, the story is not over. God continues to use the love, lessons, faith, and calling formed through a shared life.
May Christ Become More
Naomi’s story is a beautiful one. But Naomi herself would want the final message to be about Jesus.
He knew her before she was born. He called her, guided her, strengthened her, used her gifts, carried her through suffering, and received her into eternal life.
Her life encourages us to ask:
Where has God placed me to serve?
Whom has He placed in my path to love and encourage?
What experiences—joyful or painful—might He be using to shape my calling?
Naomi Dassow’s legacy is one of faith, compassion, providence, and service. It is a legacy that continues to bear fruit.
And above all, it is a testimony to the grace of Jesus Christ.
Two unique snowflakes joined by golden light, symbolizing two people brought together in one providential plan.
The Unlikely Story of Richard and Naomi—and the Providence of God
High above the earth, a snowflake begins
with something almost too small to see—a tiny particle suspended within a
cloud. Water vapor gathers around it and freezes. As the crystal
travels through changing temperatures, moisture, wind, and air currents,
its distinctive pattern begins to form.
No two snowflakes travel exactly the same
path. Each encounters different conditions, and each develops its own
intricate design.
Human lives are formed in much the same way.
We are shaped by the families into which
we are born, the places we live, the people we meet, the opportunities
we receive, the suffering we endure, the decisions we make, and the
grace of God working through it all.
Every person carries a pattern that has never existed before and will never be repeated.
Two Different Snowflakes
Naomi was one such snowflake.
Her path took her through nursing school,
public-health work in rural Wisconsin, and then into the hills and
hollers of Buckhorn, Kentucky. She traveled by Jeep to care for isolated
families. She lived and worked alongside midwife Lucille LeBeau, served
people who had few resources, and discovered that nursing was more than
a profession—it was a way of loving her neighbor.
Naomi also carried the knowledge that she
had polycystic kidney disease. That difficult reality was already part
of her life before I ever knew her.
I was another distinctly formed snowflake.
My path was very different. I came from a
different kind of family, received a different education, and spent
approximately 30 years as a commercial lettuce farmer. I remained single
for the first 38 years of my life. God was shaping me through farming,
church involvement, administration, missions, generosity, and a growing
desire to serve Him.
Naomi and I were different in almost every
imaginable way—our backgrounds, families, ages, education,
personalities, occupations, and life experiences.
By ordinary calculations, it seems highly unlikely that we ever would have met.
But we did.
Why?
As I tell this story, I am reminded of a pastor friend who always begins his sermons with a simple prayer:
“May I become less, and may Christ become more.”
Those words reflect the testimony of John the Baptist:
“He must become greater; I must become less.” —John 3:30
That is my prayer for this story. I do not
want it to make Naomi and me look remarkable. We were ordinary,
imperfect people who needed God’s grace every day. If anything beautiful
or lasting came from our marriage, the glory belongs to Jesus Christ.
The snowflakes are not the center of the story. The One who formed them is.
Drawn to the Same Lord
Long before Naomi and I met each other, Jesus Christ was drawing each of us to Himself.
In 1971, while living in different
Wisconsin cities and traveling entirely separate paths, we both
experienced a renewal of our Christian faith. We did not know each
other. Neither of us knew what God was doing in the other person’s life.
Yet the same Lord was awakening our faith at approximately the same time.
Before God brought Naomi and me together, He was bringing each of us closer to Christ.
That became our deepest connection. Our
different backgrounds did not naturally explain why we bonded. Our joint
faith in Jesus did.
We recognized in each other a shared love
for the Lord and a desire to live for Him. Our Christian faith was not
merely one interest we happened to have in common. Jesus Christ became
the foundation upon which our relationship, marriage, family, and
ministries would be built.
“For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.” —1 Corinthians 3:11
Looking back, I believe this was the
ultimate reason Naomi and I met. God brought us together so that,
through our joined lives, we could know Christ more deeply, serve Him
together, and point other people toward Him.
Our marriage was never intended to be only about us. It was meant to be about Jesus.
Was Our Meeting Just a Coincidence?
Naomi’s journey had taken her from
Wisconsin to Kentucky and back again. Mine had kept me rooted in the
Milwaukee area. For years, our lives moved along entirely separate
courses.
Then, in 1978, those courses crossed.
Was it chance? Was it merely a fortunate collision?
Looking back, it appears much more like the providence of God.
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” —Proverbs 16:9
Providence is God’s quiet direction of
people, events, circumstances, opportunities, and even disappointments
to accomplish His purposes. We usually do not recognize it while it is
happening. We see only the next step.
Often, it is only when we look back that we begin to recognize the hand of God.
Naomi and I began dating in October 1978.
On April 21, 1979, two people who had traveled very different paths
entered one covenant before God.
What seemed highly unlikely was never unknown to God.
Two snowflakes became one.
When Two Snowflakes Join
In nature, individual snow crystals
sometimes collide as they fall. When the temperature and moisture are
right, they cling to one another. Scientists call this aggregation.
The individual crystals do not necessarily
lose their original structures. Instead, they become joined, forming a
larger and more complex cluster.
That gives us a more accurate and beautiful picture of marriage than simply saying that two snowflakes “melted.”
Naomi and I did not have to melt away our
individual identities. God did not erase our histories, personalities,
gifts, or callings.
He joined them.
Our differences did not disappear. They became part of a larger design.
This is one meaning of the biblical description of marriage:
“The two will become one flesh.” —Genesis 2:24
Becoming one does not mean becoming
identical. It means that two distinct lives are joined in covenant. Two
stories begin forming one shared story. Two sets of experiences, gifts,
weaknesses, hopes, and callings become woven together.
We did not cease being Richard and
Naomi. By God’s grace, we became Richard and Naomi—two distinct people
joined in one shared life.
Known Before We Were Born
How could God have been preparing two people for each other before either of them understood what He was doing?
The Bible teaches that God knew both of us before we were born. He saw every part of our lives before we could see any of it.
“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” —Psalm 139:16
Before Naomi became a nurse, before she
traveled to Buckhorn, before she made home visits through the Kentucky
hills, and before she returned to Wisconsin, God knew her.
Before I became a farmer, before my years
of singleness, before my involvement in church and missions, and before I
ever heard Naomi’s name, God knew me.
God did not discover our story as it unfolded. He was already present in it.
How is that possible?
We experience life one day at a time. We
remember yesterday, live today, and wonder about tomorrow. God is not
limited as we are. He sees the whole story while we see only one page at
a time.
We cannot completely explain how God’s
foreknowledge, human choices, suffering, and providence work together.
Some of that remains a holy mystery. But Scripture gives us enough truth
to trust Him.
“For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen.” —Romans 11:36
Our lives were from Him—created and known by God.
Our meeting and marriage were sustained through Him—by His grace and providence.
Our shared life was meant to be lived for Him—so that others might see something of Jesus Christ through us.
How Did We Become One?
A snow crystal bonds when surrounding
conditions allow one crystal to adhere to another. A marriage bonds
through something much deeper:
Faith in Jesus Christ
Trust developed through honesty
Love expressed through daily faithfulness
Commitment that remains when circumstances change
Forgiveness offered repeatedly
Service undertaken side by side
Suffering carried together
God’s grace holding both people when their strength is insufficient
Our union was not completed on our wedding day. It was formed gradually across 45 years.
Our marriage passed through changing
weather: the joy and challenges of adopting and raising Michael, Peter,
and Ami; church life; work and ministry; family joys and
disappointments; ordinary routines; travel and adventures; aging;
Naomi’s advancing kidney disease; home dialysis; in-center dialysis; and
my service as her husband and Care Partner.
Every season added another layer to our bond.
Some experiences were beautiful. Others were painful. But even the difficult seasons became part of the design God was forming.
Marriage did not make us one because we
became exactly alike. We became one by learning to walk in the same
direction—toward Jesus and alongside each other.
What Did Our Life Together Produce?
When snowflakes gather, they can cover a
barren field, replenish streams, nourish the earth, and prepare the soil
for new growth. One snowflake seems small, but many joined together can
transform an entire landscape.
Our marriage also produced something larger than either of our lives alone.
It produced a family through adoption.
It produced hospitality, Bible studies, fellowship, camping trips, travel, and treasured memories.
It produced ministry through Divine
Shepherd, Eastbrook Church, Alliance Bible Church, the Red Cross, The
Salvation Army, the Billy Graham Rapid Response Team, Care Net, jail
ministry, missions, prayer, and compassionate care for people in crisis.
It produced a shared witness: two ordinary
people could place their different gifts into God’s hands and become
instruments of His love.
Naomi brought the heart, training, and
experience of a nurse. I brought faith, administration, generosity,
vision, and a desire to turn concern into action.
Together, our gifts reached people whom neither of us might have reached in quite the same way alone.
Our marriage produced more than activities
and accomplishments. It produced character. Through caring for one
another, we were shaped into people who could love more deeply, serve
more faithfully, and depend more completely upon God.
Scripture says:
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” —Ephesians 2:10
God had prepared work for Naomi. God had
prepared work for me. Then He joined our lives so that some of that work
could be done together.
We did not always understand the complete plan.
We only needed to know and trust the One who was leading us.
When One Snowflake Is No Longer Visible
Every physical snowflake eventually
changes. It may melt into the earth, become part of a stream, or rise
again as vapor. Its visible form disappears, but its effect does not.
Naomi left this earthly life on November
8, 2024. Her physical presence is no longer beside me, but the life we
formed together did not simply vanish.
The water from melting snow does not cease to exist. It enters the soil and nourishes what continues to grow.
In a similar way, Naomi’s influence
continues in me—in my memories, faith, compassion, ministry, family,
writing, generosity, and desire to finish well. Our shared life
continues to bear fruit through the people we served and the lives we
touched.
But Christian hope goes far beyond the cycle of nature.
Naomi has not merely become a memory or
dissolved into the universe. She is with Christ. Her identity remains
fully known and loved by God. We are physically separated for a season,
but that separation is not final.
Jesus said:
“I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me will live, even though they die.” —John 11:25
The same Jesus who brought us together is now holding Naomi in His presence—and He continues to hold me here.
The Story Is Still Being Written
Naomi’s earthly journey is complete, but God’s work through our shared life continues.
I still carry the influence of our 45
years together. It affects how I see people, how I respond to suffering,
how I use the resources God has entrusted to me, and how I think about
ministry and service.
Telling Naomi’s story is not an attempt to
keep her in the past or to make her the center of my remaining years.
It is one way of recognizing God’s faithfulness and allowing the lessons
of our life together to encourage others.
I do not know everything God has planned
for the years remaining to me. I see only the page I am living today.
But I can trust the Author who has already shown His faithfulness
through every preceding chapter.
My calling now is not simply to preserve
what was. It is to carry forward whatever God wants to use from our
shared story—while remaining open to the new work He may still have for
me.
May Christ Become More
As I look back, I do not want to place Naomi and myself at the center of this story.
Jesus Christ belongs there.
Naomi and I were never identical. God did
not erase our differences. He joined us in Christ and used those
differences to create something neither of us could have produced alone.
But our marriage was never the final destination.
Jesus was—and still is.
Our greatest legacy is not simply that we
loved each other. It is that, through all our successes, failures, joys,
disappointments, ministries, and suffering, we sought to love and serve
the Lord who first loved us.
“We love because He first loved us.” —1 John 4:19
Two snowflakes met.
But the story is not primarily about the snowflakes.
It is about the God who created them, knew
them before they were born, drew each of them to Jesus, directed their
separate paths, joined their lives, and sustained them through 45 years
of marriage.
In 1971, in different Wisconsin cities,
Naomi and I each experienced a renewal of faith without knowing what God
was doing in the other person’s life.
In 1978, our paths crossed.
In 1979, we entered the covenant of marriage.
During the next 45 years, God used our
joined lives to form a family, serve people in need, endure suffering,
and bear witness to the love of Jesus Christ.
What seemed highly unlikely was never unknown to God.
What began as two separate stories became one shared testimony.
And although Naomi is no longer physically
present with me on this earth, the work God began through our life
together continues. My prayer now is that everything I do with the
remaining years God gives me will point people—not primarily toward
Naomi or Richard—but toward Jesus.
May Richard become less.
May Naomi’s story become a window through which people see her Savior.
May Christ become more.
“He must become greater; I must become less.” —John 3:30
If anything good came from our marriage, may God receive the glory.
If our story encourages anyone, may it lead that person closer to Jesus.
That is providence.
That is grace.
And that is the true meaning of two snowflakes becoming one.
Questions for Personal Reflection
As you look back over your life, where can you see
Jesus drawing you to Himself and directing your steps—even when you did
not recognize His hand at the time?
Are your relationships, experiences, gifts, and
present circumstances pointing others toward you—or are you allowing
Christ to use them so that He becomes greater?
A Closing Prayer
Lord Jesus, thank You for knowing us
before we were born and for remaining present through every chapter of
our lives. Thank You for the people You bring into our stories and for
the ways You use our differences, joys, disappointments, and suffering
to shape us.
Forgive us when we place ourselves at the
center of the story. May we become less, and may You become greater.
Take our relationships, memories, gifts, resources, and remaining days,
and use them for Your purposes.
Help us recognize Your providence, trust
You when we cannot understand what You are doing, and follow You one
faithful step at a time. May anything good in our lives point others
toward You—not toward us.
You alone are our Savior, our Lord, our hope, and the true Author of our stories. May all the glory belong to You.
The first scene when video starts shows the road behind "Sparks" store. Down the road Naomi & Lucille lived while they both worked at The Buckhorn Clinic.
My wife, Naomi, had a heart for people who were hurting.
Her service as a volunteer chaplain with The Salvation Army of Milwaukee County was one expression of a lifetime devoted to nursing, public health, Christian ministry and compassionate care.
Naomi and I had previously completed disaster-response training through the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. However, many of the disasters requiring chaplains occurred far from our Wisconsin home. We wanted an opportunity to use our training within our own community.
The Salvation Army chaplaincy opened that door.
A Ministry of Presence
Our chaplaincy service took us to community events, prayer vigils and crisis scenes involving homicides, suicides, overdoses, infant deaths and other sudden losses.
We could not remove the pain or answer every question.
Often, our most important responsibility was simply to be present—to listen, offer comfort and pray with grieving individuals and families.
Naomi’s nursing and public-health experience helped prepare her to enter these difficult situations. She knew how to listen, care for people and treat every individual with dignity. But she did not rely only upon her professional experience. She depended upon the Lord to provide the love, strength and words each situation required.
Serving as a Team
Naomi was often the driving force behind our ministry, but neither of us would likely have undertaken it alone.
We operated as a team. Together, we encouraged and strengthened one another. We brought different gifts, experiences and abilities, and the Lord joined those gifts for His purposes.
Our partnership allowed us to enter difficult places and stand beside hurting people in ways neither of us would have done independently.
Ultimately, this was not Naomi’s ministry or my ministry. It was the Lord’s work, and He allowed us to participate in it together.
Unity Amid Diversity
One of the most meaningful parts of the Salvation Army chaplaincy was its diversity.
At the time of our original 2018 interview, the program included more than 50 Christian chaplains representing approximately 39 churches and at least 13 denominations. We came from different ethnic, cultural, social and economic backgrounds, but we served together as brothers and sisters in Christ.
Naomi and I saw the chaplaincy as a small picture of what Heaven will be like: people from every background united in the presence and service of God.
A Prayer That Shaped Our Service
One prayer captured the heart of our chaplaincy ministry:
“God, break my heart for what breaks Yours.”
That is a costly prayer. When we open our hearts to the suffering of others, we will encounter pain.
But God does not leave us there. He supplies the compassion, courage and mercy we need to respond.
Naomi understood that she was a frail human vessel whom God could fill with His Spirit. When she needed strength, He provided it. When she needed words, He supplied them. When words were unnecessary, He helped her offer the gift of quiet presence.
Remembering Naomi’s Legacy
Naomi was the driving force behind much of what we did together. But the deeper truth is that the Lord was the driving force behind Naomi.
He shaped her compassionate heart. He used her nursing career, public-health experience and Christian faith to prepare her. He opened doors and directed our steps.
Remembering Naomi is not simply about listing what she accomplished. It is about recognizing what God accomplished through her faithful and willing life.
Her example leaves each of us with an important question:
Where is the Lord asking me to become available?
We may not be called to serve at a crime scene or stand beside a family experiencing sudden tragedy. But someone near us may need a listening ear, a compassionate presence, an encouraging word or a person willing to pray.
We do not need to have all the answers.
We simply need to be available.
Naomi may have been the driving force in our team, but the Lord was the driving force in her life. That is the legacy I want to remember and honor.
With the help of AI, I found this article of an interview of Naomi Dassow
There may be an interview of Naomi and or Richard Dassow in this issue
Yes—there was an interview featuring both you and Naomi.
It was titled:
“Behind the Shield: Richard and Naomi Dassow, The Salvation Army of Milwaukee County Chaplains”
The Salvation Army first posted it on March 28, 2018. It may subsequently have appeared in the October 2018 issue of The War Cry, although the magazine’s digital reader does not currently let me verify the exact page.
The interview describes:
How you and Naomi became volunteer Salvation Army chaplains.
Your ministry at vigils, crime scenes, suicides, overdoses, infant deaths and other crises.
Your work alongside Milwaukee police and grieving families.
Your appreciation for the chaplaincy’s diversity—more than 50 chaplains representing many churches and denominations.
Your prayer: “God, break my heart for what breaks Yours.”
Your testimony that God gave you strength, love and words for situations you would never have entered on your own.
So your memory appears correct: this is almost certainly the Richard and Naomi Dassow interview you remembered in connection with The War Cry.
The link you gave me takes me to the Salvation Army website. They have deleted the article. If you can see the article some way, can you give me a complete reading of it? Needs words of the full interview
I can see a cached copy of the interview even though the Salvation Army removed the public page. However, I can’t reproduce the entire magazine/website article word-for-word because it remains copyrighted by its publisher.
I can give you a complete, faithful reading in paraphrased form, preserving every question and answer:
Behind the Shield: Richard and Naomi Dassow
The Salvation Army of Milwaukee County Chaplains
The introduction explained that Richard and Naomi Dassow had participated in the Salvation Army of Milwaukee County Chaplaincy Program for more than two years. They began as volunteers and later became chaplains.
Their ministry took them to community events throughout Milwaukee as well as vigils and crisis scenes involving the deaths of children or spouses, suicides, drug overdoses, infant deaths, homicides and other sudden or unexplained deaths.
At these difficult scenes, Richard and Naomi offered comfort and support. Often, their most important ministry was simply listening to people or praying with grieving families. The chaplaincy program worked alongside Milwaukee police in community-building efforts. Its purpose included creating positive relationships, supporting residents before tragedy or crime occurred and helping Milwaukee become a healthier community reflecting God’s Kingdom.
How did you first learn about The Salvation Army and its chaplaincy program?
Richard and Naomi learned about chaplain training that had been offered through the police department and sponsored by K-LOVE radio.
A few years earlier, they had completed disaster-response training through the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. However, they had never been deployed because most emergencies were more than 200 miles from Wisconsin or because other chaplains had already been called.
They wanted to serve in their own community. They also had previous experience responding to fires through another volunteer organization. The Salvation Army chaplaincy gave them a way to use that training and experience close to home.
What was your favorite part of participating in the chaplaincy program?
Richard and Naomi said they loved the program. They supported the Christian mission of The Salvation Army and valued the opportunities it provided to serve hurting people and reach out to them with Christ’s love.
Through the ministry, they learned to care deeply about people whose backgrounds might be very different from their own. Despite those differences, everyone shared the same fundamental human need for compassion, understanding and care.
What was your favorite experience or event?
One especially memorable experience was attending the funeral of a young person. Jesse Jackson spoke to a church filled with people and urged the young people present to come forward and give their lives to Christ.
Richard and Naomi remembered that it appeared more than half of the congregation responded by coming forward.
What should the world understand about The Salvation Army?
They wanted people to recognize what a remarkable experience it was to serve in a diverse, multiethnic Christian chaplaincy.
At that time, the group included more than 50 brothers and sisters in Christ representing approximately 39 churches and at least 13 denominations. The chaplains were culturally, socially, economically and geographically diverse.
Richard and Naomi said the group provided a small picture of what Heaven will be like—and an opportunity to experience something of that heavenly diversity in Milwaukee.
They saw the chaplaincy as an opportunity to serve God while using their spiritual gifts, strengths, abilities and passions. They also emphasized that they were continuing to learn through the experience.
Was there anything else you wanted to add?
Richard and Naomi testified that God gave them strength to do things—and enter places—they would never have attempted by themselves.
When they needed love or the right words, God supplied them. They described themselves as frail vessels whom God continued to fill with His Spirit.
They had prayed the refrain from the worship song asking God to break their hearts over the things that break His heart. They acknowledged that receiving such a broken heart could be painful, but God also provided the love and mercy needed to sustain them.
That is the complete substance of the surviving interview, including all five questions and the meaning of every answer. The original cached record identifies its publication date as March 28, 2018. I have not yet found conclusive proof of the page on which it appeared in the October 2018 War Cry.
I am confident that someone has saved a copy of the magazine!
