The Unlikely Story of Richard and Naomi—and the Providence of God
High above the earth, a snowflake begins with something almost too small to see—a tiny particle suspended within a cloud. Water vapor gathers around it and freezes. As the crystal travels through changing temperatures, moisture, wind, and air currents, its distinctive pattern begins to form.
No two snowflakes travel exactly the same path. Each encounters different conditions, and each develops its own intricate design.
Human lives are formed in much the same way.
We are shaped by the families into which we are born, the places we live, the people we meet, the opportunities we receive, the suffering we endure, the decisions we make, and the grace of God working through it all.
Every person carries a pattern that has never existed before and will never be repeated.
Two Different Snowflakes
Naomi was one such snowflake.
Her path took her through nursing school, public-health work in rural Wisconsin, and then into the hills and hollers of Buckhorn, Kentucky. She traveled by Jeep to care for isolated families. She lived and worked alongside midwife Lucille LeBeau, served people who had few resources, and discovered that nursing was more than a profession—it was a way of loving her neighbor.
Naomi also carried the knowledge that she had polycystic kidney disease. That difficult reality was already part of her life before I ever knew her.
I was another distinctly formed snowflake.
My path was very different. I came from a different kind of family, received a different education, and spent approximately 30 years as a commercial lettuce farmer. I remained single for the first 38 years of my life. God was shaping me through farming, church involvement, administration, missions, generosity, and a growing desire to serve Him.
Naomi and I were different in almost every imaginable way—our backgrounds, families, ages, education, personalities, occupations, and life experiences.
By ordinary calculations, it seems highly unlikely that we ever would have met.
But we did.
Why?
As I tell this story, I am reminded of a pastor friend who always begins his sermons with a simple prayer:
“May I become less, and may Christ become more.”
Those words reflect the testimony of John the Baptist:
“He must become greater; I must become less.”
—John 3:30
That is my prayer for this story. I do not want it to make Naomi and me look remarkable. We were ordinary, imperfect people who needed God’s grace every day. If anything beautiful or lasting came from our marriage, the glory belongs to Jesus Christ.
The snowflakes are not the center of the story. The One who formed them is.
Drawn to the Same Lord
Long before Naomi and I met each other, Jesus Christ was drawing each of us to Himself.
In 1971, while living in different Wisconsin cities and traveling entirely separate paths, we both experienced a renewal of our Christian faith. We did not know each other. Neither of us knew what God was doing in the other person’s life.
Yet the same Lord was awakening our faith at approximately the same time.
Before God brought Naomi and me together, He was bringing each of us closer to Christ.
That became our deepest connection. Our different backgrounds did not naturally explain why we bonded. Our joint faith in Jesus did.
We recognized in each other a shared love for the Lord and a desire to live for Him. Our Christian faith was not merely one interest we happened to have in common. Jesus Christ became the foundation upon which our relationship, marriage, family, and ministries would be built.
“For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.”
—1 Corinthians 3:11
Looking back, I believe this was the ultimate reason Naomi and I met. God brought us together so that, through our joined lives, we could know Christ more deeply, serve Him together, and point other people toward Him.
Our marriage was never intended to be only about us. It was meant to be about Jesus.
Was Our Meeting Just a Coincidence?
Naomi’s journey had taken her from Wisconsin to Kentucky and back again. Mine had kept me rooted in the Milwaukee area. For years, our lives moved along entirely separate courses.
Then, in 1978, those courses crossed.
Was it chance? Was it merely a fortunate collision?
Looking back, it appears much more like the providence of God.
“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
—Proverbs 16:9
Providence is God’s quiet direction of people, events, circumstances, opportunities, and even disappointments to accomplish His purposes. We usually do not recognize it while it is happening. We see only the next step.
Often, it is only when we look back that we begin to recognize the hand of God.
Naomi and I began dating in October 1978. On April 21, 1979, two people who had traveled very different paths entered one covenant before God.
What seemed highly unlikely was never unknown to God.
Two snowflakes became one.
When Two Snowflakes Join
In nature, individual snow crystals sometimes collide as they fall. When the temperature and moisture are right, they cling to one another. Scientists call this aggregation.
The individual crystals do not necessarily lose their original structures. Instead, they become joined, forming a larger and more complex cluster.
That gives us a more accurate and beautiful picture of marriage than simply saying that two snowflakes “melted.”
Naomi and I did not have to melt away our individual identities. God did not erase our histories, personalities, gifts, or callings.
He joined them.
Our differences did not disappear. They became part of a larger design.
This is one meaning of the biblical description of marriage:
“The two will become one flesh.”
—Genesis 2:24
Becoming one does not mean becoming identical. It means that two distinct lives are joined in covenant. Two stories begin forming one shared story. Two sets of experiences, gifts, weaknesses, hopes, and callings become woven together.
We did not cease being Richard and Naomi. By God’s grace, we became Richard and Naomi—two distinct people joined in one shared life.
Known Before We Were Born
How could God have been preparing two people for each other before either of them understood what He was doing?
The Bible teaches that God knew both of us before we were born. He saw every part of our lives before we could see any of it.
“Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in Your book
before one of them came to be.”
—Psalm 139:16
Before Naomi became a nurse, before she traveled to Buckhorn, before she made home visits through the Kentucky hills, and before she returned to Wisconsin, God knew her.
Before I became a farmer, before my years of singleness, before my involvement in church and missions, and before I ever heard Naomi’s name, God knew me.
God did not discover our story as it unfolded. He was already present in it.
How is that possible?
We experience life one day at a time. We remember yesterday, live today, and wonder about tomorrow. God is not limited as we are. He sees the whole story while we see only one page at a time.
We cannot completely explain how God’s foreknowledge, human choices, suffering, and providence work together. Some of that remains a holy mystery. But Scripture gives us enough truth to trust Him.
“For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen.”
—Romans 11:36
Our lives were from Him—created and known by God.
Our meeting and marriage were sustained through Him—by His grace and providence.
Our shared life was meant to be lived for Him—so that others might see something of Jesus Christ through us.
How Did We Become One?
A snow crystal bonds when surrounding conditions allow one crystal to adhere to another. A marriage bonds through something much deeper:
- Faith in Jesus Christ
- Trust developed through honesty
- Love expressed through daily faithfulness
- Commitment that remains when circumstances change
- Forgiveness offered repeatedly
- Service undertaken side by side
- Suffering carried together
- God’s grace holding both people when their strength is insufficient
Our union was not completed on our wedding day. It was formed gradually across 45 years.
Our marriage passed through changing weather: the joy and challenges of adopting and raising Michael, Peter, and Ami; church life; work and ministry; family joys and disappointments; ordinary routines; travel and adventures; aging; Naomi’s advancing kidney disease; home dialysis; in-center dialysis; and my service as her husband and Care Partner.
Every season added another layer to our bond.
Some experiences were beautiful. Others were painful. But even the difficult seasons became part of the design God was forming.
Marriage did not make us one because we became exactly alike. We became one by learning to walk in the same direction—toward Jesus and alongside each other.
What Did Our Life Together Produce?
When snowflakes gather, they can cover a barren field, replenish streams, nourish the earth, and prepare the soil for new growth. One snowflake seems small, but many joined together can transform an entire landscape.
Our marriage also produced something larger than either of our lives alone.
It produced a family through adoption.
It produced hospitality, Bible studies, fellowship, camping trips, travel, and treasured memories.
It produced ministry through Divine Shepherd, Eastbrook Church, Alliance Bible Church, the Red Cross, The Salvation Army, the Billy Graham Rapid Response Team, Care Net, jail ministry, missions, prayer, and compassionate care for people in crisis.
It produced a shared witness: two ordinary people could place their different gifts into God’s hands and become instruments of His love.
Naomi brought the heart, training, and experience of a nurse. I brought faith, administration, generosity, vision, and a desire to turn concern into action.
Together, our gifts reached people whom neither of us might have reached in quite the same way alone.
Our marriage produced more than activities and accomplishments. It produced character. Through caring for one another, we were shaped into people who could love more deeply, serve more faithfully, and depend more completely upon God.
Scripture says:
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
—Ephesians 2:10
God had prepared work for Naomi. God had prepared work for me. Then He joined our lives so that some of that work could be done together.
We did not always understand the complete plan.
We only needed to know and trust the One who was leading us.
When One Snowflake Is No Longer Visible
Every physical snowflake eventually changes. It may melt into the earth, become part of a stream, or rise again as vapor. Its visible form disappears, but its effect does not.
Naomi left this earthly life on November 8, 2024. Her physical presence is no longer beside me, but the life we formed together did not simply vanish.
The water from melting snow does not cease to exist. It enters the soil and nourishes what continues to grow.
In a similar way, Naomi’s influence continues in me—in my memories, faith, compassion, ministry, family, writing, generosity, and desire to finish well. Our shared life continues to bear fruit through the people we served and the lives we touched.
But Christian hope goes far beyond the cycle of nature.
Naomi has not merely become a memory or dissolved into the universe. She is with Christ. Her identity remains fully known and loved by God. We are physically separated for a season, but that separation is not final.
Jesus said:
“I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me will live, even though they die.”
—John 11:25
The same Jesus who brought us together is now holding Naomi in His presence—and He continues to hold me here.
The Story Is Still Being Written
Naomi’s earthly journey is complete, but God’s work through our shared life continues.
I still carry the influence of our 45 years together. It affects how I see people, how I respond to suffering, how I use the resources God has entrusted to me, and how I think about ministry and service.
Telling Naomi’s story is not an attempt to keep her in the past or to make her the center of my remaining years. It is one way of recognizing God’s faithfulness and allowing the lessons of our life together to encourage others.
I do not know everything God has planned for the years remaining to me. I see only the page I am living today. But I can trust the Author who has already shown His faithfulness through every preceding chapter.
My calling now is not simply to preserve what was. It is to carry forward whatever God wants to use from our shared story—while remaining open to the new work He may still have for me.
May Christ Become More
As I look back, I do not want to place Naomi and myself at the center of this story.
Jesus Christ belongs there.
Naomi and I were never identical. God did not erase our differences. He joined us in Christ and used those differences to create something neither of us could have produced alone.
But our marriage was never the final destination.
Jesus was—and still is.
Our greatest legacy is not simply that we loved each other. It is that, through all our successes, failures, joys, disappointments, ministries, and suffering, we sought to love and serve the Lord who first loved us.
“We love because He first loved us.”
—1 John 4:19
Two snowflakes met.
But the story is not primarily about the snowflakes.
It is about the God who created them, knew them before they were born, drew each of them to Jesus, directed their separate paths, joined their lives, and sustained them through 45 years of marriage.
In 1971, in different Wisconsin cities, Naomi and I each experienced a renewal of faith without knowing what God was doing in the other person’s life.
In 1978, our paths crossed.
In 1979, we entered the covenant of marriage.
During the next 45 years, God used our joined lives to form a family, serve people in need, endure suffering, and bear witness to the love of Jesus Christ.
What seemed highly unlikely was never unknown to God.
What began as two separate stories became one shared testimony.
And although Naomi is no longer physically present with me on this earth, the work God began through our life together continues. My prayer now is that everything I do with the remaining years God gives me will point people—not primarily toward Naomi or Richard—but toward Jesus.
May Richard become less.
May Naomi’s story become a window through which people see her Savior.
May Christ become more.
“He must become greater; I must become less.”
—John 3:30
If anything good came from our marriage, may God receive the glory.
If our story encourages anyone, may it lead that person closer to Jesus.
That is providence.
That is grace.
And that is the true meaning of two snowflakes becoming one.
Questions for Personal Reflection
- As you look back over your life, where can you see Jesus drawing you to Himself and directing your steps—even when you did not recognize His hand at the time?
- Are your relationships, experiences, gifts, and present circumstances pointing others toward you—or are you allowing Christ to use them so that He becomes greater?
A Closing Prayer
Lord Jesus, thank You for knowing us before we were born and for remaining present through every chapter of our lives. Thank You for the people You bring into our stories and for the ways You use our differences, joys, disappointments, and suffering to shape us.
Forgive us when we place ourselves at the center of the story. May we become less, and may You become greater. Take our relationships, memories, gifts, resources, and remaining days, and use them for Your purposes.
Help us recognize Your providence, trust You when we cannot understand what You are doing, and follow You one faithful step at a time. May anything good in our lives point others toward You—not toward us.
You alone are our Savior, our Lord, our hope, and the true Author of our stories. May all the glory belong to You.
In Jesus’s name, amen.
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